Friday, April 02, 2004

More With The Eight Legged Freaks

A while back I posted about my fear of spiders and how I'm sure there's a Spider coalition out there somewhere that sends these creatures out with the purpose & intent of scaring the crap outta me.

Well, I'm at Spider Central. Swear to God! At Grandma's house is where they meet. In the bedroom that I'm sleeping in (in the Haunted Basement, FYI) Grandma had a black boxy looking thing plugged into the wall. It made a clicking noise every 10 seconds. It's supposed to keep spiders away. I don't believe it...I see them anyway. There are dead spiders in every corner of the floor and the ceiling and in the window wells of the basement. It's scary!

My first night here I couldn't sleep because of the clicking so I thought "Spiders be damned!" and unplugged the thing. Then I had the vision of the leader calling an emergency meeting.

"She's unplugged the clicky machine. We're free to terrorize her! GO! GO! GO!" The last part said, of course, like a drill sergeant. Little spiders & big spiders together would be coming in on the webs, ready to swing into action. Luckily, if that DID happen, I was already asleep & I missed it.

Now, you know in thriller movies when someone is being stalked and they show themselves for just a brief minute to shake the other person up? Okay, I'm sitting at the kitchen table this morning facing the fridge & suddenly a HUGE BLACK SPIDER comes swinging out from behind the fridge on his web, hangs there for a second them disappears behind the bread on the counter. I swear he was looking at me with every one of his beady little red eyes. I could hear him..."We're out here. We're just waiting for you, Heather." {insert terrified whimper from me here.}

For lunch we had sammiches. When Grandma put the bread in front of me I diligently checked it for spiders. A bird flew by the window and made a shadow on the loaf. I almost screamed and I did jerk my hand away so fast it looked like I'd been burned. Lucky for me Grandpa can't see so he didn't witness my freak out.

They're out there. I can feel them watching me. They're planning their next attack and they know I'm afraid...

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