Saturday, July 28, 2007

Conversation at Fargo's Pizza Palace

Here's the conversation that happened at the bar while we were waiting for our cake. Keep in mind I worked at this place for ten years and dealt with shit like this on a regular basis:

Bartender: Hi!

Old Man: Do you have Dr. Pepper?

B: We have Mr Pibb

OM: Do you have Dr Pepper?

B: No, we have Mr Pibb.

OM: (after a pause) Do you have Dr Pepper?

B: (still very calm and polite): No, we have Mr Pibb which is pretty much the same-

OM: Don't be a smartass and answer my question! Do you have Dr Pepper?

B: No, sir but we do have Mr Pibb.

And the guy just walked away pissed! I was shocked! The old guy was such a dick!!! What do you think?



Friday, July 20, 2007

Conversation in a Vue Part 3

Scene: At the stoplight at Powers & Constitution. A truck pulls up next to us and...

Dad: Why the hell would you wear a leather coat when it's 80-frickin' degrees outside?

Mom: He thinks he looks cool.

Dad: Well he doesn't look cool!

Me: He's actually really creepy looking.

Dad: You're right, he's creepy. Karen, I dare you to roll down your window and tell him he's a creepy looking guy. I'll give you $5.

Mom: I'll just start out with 'I'm getting $5 to tell you that you're a creepy looking guy. I'll give you $2.50!'

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Exploding Death!

Yes, I have been lax in my posting duties. It seems to be going around work places that they need to keep us bloggers from blogging. So just like Derek, when I get home I don't think about posting. But - here I am! And I'm back with a bang. Literally. If you're squeamish about death and/or exploding body parts, please to not read any farther.

So last week a guy that works where I do passed away. I didn't know him, had never met him - he worked the day shift in another area. The area where he worked happened to be the same area where my ex-supervisor Nancy works and this story comes from her.

She went to lunch last week with her boss, leaving Billy alone in his area at his desk. When they returned, Billy was gone but there was "red stuff" all over his desk, the floor and in the trash can. Nancy said it looked like he had been eating salsa and puked. She took it upon herself to clean it up since he was gone.

Tunrs out it wasn't salsa infused puke. Billy's liver exploded and he puked up blood and pieces of his liver. He drove himself home where his wife took him to the hospital but he didn't make it. He was only 45 with children and grandchildren (1 due in Oct) - it's a very sad story but also a pretty horrible one. As Nancy put it, "I didn't know I was cleaning up death."

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Tuesday, July 03, 2007

The Month of Movies

I suck lately at reading...3 books in the month of June...

18. Monstrous Regiment - Terry Pratchett This is, by default, the BOTM. It was really good and funny but without all the regular Discworld characters I like to read about, although I did enjoy the ones he introduced in this book.

19. The 6th Target - James Patterson & Maxine Paetro I was so excited to read this book and was sadly disappointed. They threw too many plotlines at me at once and some of the ways they were resolved didn't seem to have a rhyme or reason to it. The ending was good, though.

20. Jingo - Terry Pratchett I'm not even finished with this one yet but I'm loving it!

So on to the movies. Get comfy cuz this list is loooongggg.....

63. All About Eve Classic! I love this movie, everything about it.

64. Waiting For Guffman This was funny in spots but not that group's funniest effort.

65. The Producers One of the MOTM - Zero Mostel & Gene Wilder are brilliantly hilarious! I never stopped laughing...

66. Shaun of the Dead 5th time I've seen that movie. One of the few zombie movies I actually enjoy.

67. While You Were Sleeping I can't count how many times I've seen this one. A great one to watch when you're in a mushy mood.

68. Rocketman One of Collin's picks. Cheesy but cute. I'd watch it again.

69. 12 Monkeys I fricking LOVE this movie. Brad Pitt is a total genius in this film. I want to learn his hand movements and use them on people while I'm talking! :)

70. Blazing Saddles Another classic. Justin had never seen this movie so we cultured him. he liked it.

71. Stir Crazy I had never seen this one, surprisingly. Yes, we had a Gene Wilder weekend. :)

72. The Producers (remake) Don't bother, unless you've never seen the original. I really like Matthew Broderick but Collin & I both agree he was way over the top in his performance.

73. Pirates of the Caribbean 3 My 2nd MOTM. I really liked this. I had heard bad things about it but can you go wrong with multiple Jack Sparrows? :) And I loved the ending after the credits...

74. The Rundown My choice. Collin had never seen it and I liked this one. So did he.

75. The Haunting This movie had so much potential; great cast, scary house...but it really sucked. I write better dialogue in my cheesy stories I write for fun.

76. Knocked Up MOTM #3. Funny, funny, funny! Seth Rogen - he's a funny motherfucker. Leslie Mann - incredibly hilarious. Martin Starr is a plus in ANYTHING! Go see this movie!!! **Disclaimer** But only if you like crude humor.

77. Mr. Brooks The 4th MOTM. Ooo....I loved this movie. Kevin Costner has never been one of my faves but he was sooooo good...and William Hurt was totally my favorite character in the movie, followed closely by Dane Cook...he did an awesome job in a dramatic role. Go see this one, too!!!

78. Shrek The Third Weak. I was disappointed.

79. Strangers With Candy It had it's moments (Sarah Jessica Parker, the locker scene...) but the TV show is better.

80. Knocked Up See? Fricking funny! I saw it twice within a week!!!!

81. Waking Up Dead If you watch this movie, get ready to hear "fuck" A LOT!! It's a documentary on Phil Varone, the ex-Saigon Kick and Skid Row drummer. Interesting...

82. 1408 And here we have the 5th MOTM. Scary as hell, this movie. John Cusack is great and the scares are genuine. Makes you think, too.

83. Serenity My latest obsession. Collin & I got Christina hooked on Firefly so we rewatched the series then watched the movie. In fact, I'm watching it right now! :)

84. The Madness Of King George This was a good movie - sad, funny, heartwarming...

85. Breakdown An oldie but a goody with Kurt Russell.

86. Orange County This was a cute movie - Jack Black isn't featured enough, though.

So there you go. I told you I watched a buttload of movies! Hope you all have a great 4th of July!

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