Tuesday, May 25, 2004

That's Just Funny Right There

I mentioned a couple posts ago that I'm training a new guy at work. His name is Stan and he's turned out to be pretty darn entertaining. To keep himself awake while working our overnight shift, he talks my ear off. Sometimes, it's just about trivial things about wild animals or high school but this morning, it was a damn funny story that I thought I would share with all of you.

It seems that when Stan was about 8, he was told by his mother to get some lunch money from his father's wallet. She apparently trusted this kid although he quickly showed why she shouldn't. Stan didn't take a five or a ten or even a twenty. He snagged a fat one hundred dollar bill and instead of using it for lunch, stopped by a candy store with some of his friends on the way to school.

He marched right up to the counter and presented the lady with the bill. "What can I get with this," he asked. Now, he thinks that he was probably cheated out of some of the money but apparently he got a buttload of candy. He and his friends carried it all to school and made an announcement before the teacher came in that at recess they were all to meet at the merry-go-round.

Now, at this point in the story, I'm thinking that number one, sharing is a bad idea. If it was me, the candy would be ALL MINE! No one would be getting anything! But, Stan's a nice guy and wanted to share the wealth. Here's where point number two comes in. WHY would you share that amount of candy near an evil contraption like the merry-go-round? Just the name of the thing makes me dizzy and nauseous. But the class all met there and the candy was shared.

Apparently, the kids devoured the candy and then, buzzing on the sugar rush from hell, they piled on the merry-go-round and started spinning. You know where this is going. Suddenly, one kid spewed. That caused a chain reaction and everyone was puking everywhere...just imagine: twenty kids spinning and puking. Stan said you could see chunks of undigested candy in the puddles.

Maybe it was cuz it was 3am but I laughed my ass off at the vision of that story. Of course, the teacher's learned how the debacle started and Stan got in trouble for snatching the hundred dollar bill and feeding everyone candy.

Where was he when I was in school?

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