Thursday, June 03, 2004

How DOES the cookie work?

I love cookies. I love every kind of cookie there is. Unless there's raisins in it. Bleck! My Mom has a refrigerator magnet that reads "A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand." That is SO true! My favorite cookie, however, is the fortune cookie. I am not alone in this. Shanon & Elena love fortune cookies as well.

Being the Chinese food connoisseurs that we are, we frequent Chinese restaurants almost once a week. Shanon was telling me that a couple weeks ago she had dinner with her family at a non-Chinese restaurant and when the bill came, Elena asked, "Where are the cookies?"

So yesterday, before our trek to Xiang's, my fave place, we went to Kohl's to do a little shopping. There was a lady standing in the aisle behind a table upon which sat a HUGE bowl of fortune cookies. My dream come true! Shanon saw them before I did and asked Elena if she wanted a cookie. The lady gets all huffy and says that they're for the sale promotion ONLY and that she couldn't have one. Then she asked Shanon & I if we want to open a Kohl's account, thereby getting a fortune cookie & saving 15% on our purchase. We said "No, thank you," not wanting the stinking cookie that bad. But then the lady says, in all seriousness and quite sternly, I might add...

"You obviously don't understand how the cookie works."

HUH? What is there to understanding how a freakin' fortune cookie works? You open it, you read it, you eat it! GIMME THE DAMN COOKIE LADY AND TO HELL WITH YOUR INSTRUCTIONS!! But, I kept quiet as she explained the intricate workings of the Kohl Kookie. There was a fortune in there that let you save up to 25% on your purchase. That was for anyone, Kohl's card or not. To get the EXTRA savings, you had to apply for a card but I was free to take a cookie regardless. So I did and I got the coveted 25% fortune. Shanon got 20% which is nothing to sneeze at and she let Elena eat the cookie.

See, there was a disclaimer on the back of the fortune that said to use the fortune, you had to be 18 or older. Obviously, Elena's not but come on! She's a little girl who loves cookies? Don't you think Broom Hilda could have spared one stinkin' cookie for her? She had a ton!

P.S. My REAL fortune from Xiang's scared me. It said that long lost friends would be coming back into my life. See, the reason that they're long lost is cuz I wanted 'em that way! I don't want them coming back!

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