Friday, June 11, 2004

More Fun With Funny Things My Mom Said

Somehow this week, I ended up spending three days with my mother. Mostly we went shopping for her trip to Bermuda (she leaves on Sunday). You can't spend that amount of time with Mom without having her say something completely hilarious. I lucked out this time...there were three incidents!

INCIDENT 1: We were watching Jeopardy Wednesday night and decided to keep score which meant that we had to play Final Jeopardy. The answer was something along these lines: "This fictional character was developed by former marine biologist Somebody Somebody." I put as my question "Who is Spongebob Squarepants." I was right. Mom wrote down "Shamu or Willy of 'Free Willy.'" I liked the way she identified Willy.

INCIDENT 2: I recently streaked my hair with Atomic Pink hair dye and Mom hates it! I was telling her that a 60 year old lady at work thought it was cool, that it brought out my eyes. Then she looked at another co-worker and said, "Iris, we have to do that! Dye our hair a wild color." After I relayed this story, Mom says she wishes she could be spontaneous like that. "Like what," I ask. "Dying your hair pink?" "No, just saying 'Let's do that!' but not really meaning it." I ask her if she just wants to be insincere. "No, supportive," she clarifies. "But you don't really mean any of it so you're insincerely supportive?" "Yeah, I guess so."

INCIDENT 3: Dad was telling me about an ex-police officer named Ida he works with who has a seriously vulgar vocabulary. Actually, it's only one word. Her reaction when she heard Dad was going on a vacation to Bermuda was "How the fuck did you get a fucking trip to fucking Bermuda?" This woman is like in her 60's. Mom came home from work and he says, "Guess who said this," and proceeded to tell her about Ida's rampage. Mom's coolly-stated answer? "Must be that fucker from Western Fireplace." THIS from a woman who whispers the word "bush" because of the double meaning!

It definitely was not a boring weekend...and now I'm off to try and complete Collin's monster story project. I better light a candle or two and ask for guidance from the storytelling goddesses!

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