Sunday, September 05, 2004

You Want Me To Put WHAT In My Mouth???

When I was little, going out to eat was a big deal. Most of the time we
ended up at Three Thieves where we'd order steak and fried zucchini. That was
where I discovered my love for bleu cheese. Every time we went to The Three
Thieves, Dad would order house dressing with crumbly bleu cheese on the side. I
figured if Dad liked it, it must be good and I started ordering my salads that
way as well. I was right - I loved it!

Sadly, his culinary tastes did not always agree with mine.

Brunch was also a pretty big deal in our household. We would go on a Sunday
morning to brunch at the Four Seasons Hotel (It's now the Sheraton & I hear
the brunch isn't as good). We got to dress up, see the ice sculpture and EAT
DESSERT FOR BREAKFAST!!! How great is that when you're a kid? Of course, we
had to eat the requisite eggs or oatmeal or whatever first before the breakfast
pastries and cookies and yummy chocolate stuff, but still...totally worth it!
Plus Mom was always right behind us in that dessert line.

The last time we went to brunch there, we had Uncle Jim along with us. He &
my dad were getting some pretty interesting things to eat and I kept making
comments about how icky everything on their plates looked. One thing on Jim's
plate in particular stood out as seriously gross looking. "What IS that," I
asked.

"A yogurt-covered artichoke heart," he replied.

"Eeeeyeewww!!"

"I'll give you twenty bucks if you eat it," Dad chimed in.

"I can't eat that. It's Jim's." I figured that was a good way to get out of
that. Twenty bucks? Not worth it.

"I can always go get another one. There's a bunch up there," Jim answered.

"Yeah, cuz who else would eat that crap?"

"C'mon....twenty bucks..." Dad was waving the twenty in the air now. I was
in high school, without means of employment so, really, who was I to turn down
$20?

"Okay, fine." I picked it up, took a deep breath and popped in my mouth.
The first bite revealed that I was correct in my assumption - it was absolutely
the most vile thing I had ever ever EVER had in my mouth. To this day, I
believe it still holds first place. I really thought I was going to puke in the
middle of the hotel. But I got it down, kept it down and pocketed the twenty
dollars.

I bought a pair of white L.A. Gear tennis shoes that had hot pink laces with
that money. I just threw them out last year. Not a bad purchase for so
revolting a way to get the money.


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