Tuesday, April 19, 2005

There's No Doubt About It

I'm going to hell. My seat in the hand-basket has been booked and confirmed. It's just a matter of when!!

Collin & I were talking on the phone last night while I was at work and he mentioned that a Pope Vote had been taken but the smoke was black. I said, "So that means there's no new Pope, right?" I was trying desperately to remember what I read about how they went about choosing a new Pope from what I had read in Dan Brown's "Angels & Demons." I did know that when the smoke from the smokestacks was white, a new Pope had been chosen.

"I think that's what it means," he answered. "Throw him on the fire, if he burns black, he's not the Pope for us!"

I couldn't help it - I know it was wrong but it just popped out. "If he burns black, send him back. If he burns white then we're all right!" Collin laughed at my rhyme. Then I said, "Don't they lock all the cardinals up in a room until they pick a new one?"

"I think so & then after a certain amount of days they feed them nothing but bread & water?"

You'd think that I had learned my lesson the first time but no! My mouth opened again: "See? See what you get by being choosy? If you had picked a Pope last week, you could be having steak and potatoes right now!!"

And then Collin had his seat next to mine confirmed. "Yeah, come on, which one isn't the Antichrist? Don't you think that the smoke would burn red if the Antichrist was chosen?"

All this papal talk got us curious so he looked up the actual events online. It turns out that they don't get punished with bread & water if they don't pick one soon enough, so yay them! But the voting reminded us a bit of Survivor: Vatican City. Each cardinal places his vote on a silver tray & Collin wondered if they had to face a camera afterwards and tell why they chose who they did.

Apparently the front runner to be the next Pope is a German named Ratzinger. He's 75 years old. Do these people not listen?? After two more popes die, the world ends!! Why are they even thinking of voting someone in who's 75????? I really would like the world to continue on as it was.

Apparently there's no chance for an American pope. That means Andy can't be elected so we're safe on that front.

Oh!! And then there's the deal with bonking the poor Pope on the forehead with a silver hammer to determine whether he's dead or just sleeping. If he was just sleeping, he'd probably be dead afterwards! What a custom! If it is true - Collin said that as of last night on Snopes.com that the status of that story was still undetermined.

Despite all the humor that surrounds this picking a new Pope, I find it all quite fascinating. It's history.

And P.S. Since no one wanted to play my game with me, the trivia contest has been set aside. Have a nice Tuesday.

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