Wednesday, December 14, 2005

The Peak Of Annoyance

I used to never listen to morning radio. There's too much talk and stupid gimmicky stunts and not enough music. But about a year and a half ago I stumbed across The Peak 95.1's morning show and surprisingly I actually enjoyed it; there was enough music to keep me happy, normal, funny dj's (Dave Moore and Steve Ryan) and when they did have guests on they were entertaining like William Lamb The Horoscope Man and Jimmy Hollywood. I even like the news guy, Charlie. He makes me laugh.

A few months ago, Steve Ryan announced on-air that he was leaving radio to focus on his insurance company. I was bummed. He was the goofy one that always kept the laughter flowing. But I kept listening. One of the weekend jocks, Curt Lambert, replaced Steve for a while and I liked him. He was a little more low-key but I didn't dislike him. I thought that he was going to be the full-time replacement but...

Turns out they were looking for a new morning dj and they found Dan Cochell. It's all I can do to listen to them anymore, this guy bugs me that bad. Every morning about 7:05 they play Battle of the Sexes and before the game begins they play Michael Buffer and his famous, "Ladies and gentlemen...we are...ready to rumble!!!" This Dan fella talks over it, trying to sound like Buffer and failing miserably every time. It drives me bezerk! And then he's full to the brim with superlatives. I'm not joking.

Whenever he introduces the traffic girl, he says things like, "Here's the best traffic girl in all the world, Sharon Austin!!" or "And now for the most brilliant traffic person in all of the galaxy..." And when he's doing the Battle of the Sexes, all the men contestants are "representing all men around the globe" and the women are "standing for every woman known to man." When they get an answer right he belts out, "You are correctamundo!" Or a contestant will give their answer and he'll say, "Did you say {insert answer here}? That is absolutely incorrect!" I'm sure he thinks he's being funny but he bothers the hell out of me!! I've never laughed at anything he's said and I don't recall hearing Dave Moore laugh at him either, at least not the big belly laughs he used to have with his former on-air partner.

In his little bio, Dan Cochell mentions that he chose broadcasting over a career in graphic design. Damn. If he had decided to be an artist, I wouldn't have to listen to him every morning. I actually yell at the radio while I'm driving or in the shower when he starts talking: "SHUT UP!! God, just SHUT UP!!" I'm hoping that the numbers will go down and they'll realize that they made a mistake and find someone else! Let Charlie the News Guy be the sidekick...he's hilarious! I'd definately prefer that.

I just need stability on my morning drive home. Is that too much to ask?


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