On October 3rd of 2005, I posted the following right after it happened:

Sunday morning Prescilla & I went on our usual 5:30am jaunt around the lake. At this time of year it's quite dark and when we run into other walkers or joggers it's usually a shock because we don't see them coming. Yesterday morning was no exception; we ran into (not literally!!) a kid who looked to be about 20-21 walking towards us with crazy curly fly-away blonde hair, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his denim jacket and a petulant look on his face. He was really staring both of us down. I usually don't get freaked out if we meet anyone in the dark - just say "good morning" and be on my way - but this kid freaked us both out. We kept looking over our shoulders after he passed. There was just something wrong about the vibe he emitted. After our little creepy run-in, we rounded the bend by the tennis courts. Suddenly I felt a blast of warm air like I was in front of a space heater. Then it was gone. A few steps later, the sensation returned. "Do you feel that warm air?" Prescilla asked. "Yeah," I answered in relief, glad it wasn't just me going crazy. It was a huge difference from the normal temperature and it lasted for about 2 minutes. Then it went away. I decided that it was from the jets of the alien spacecraft that dropped off that kid as it landed. Prescilla just laughed at me. But then on the east side of the lake we saw something green glowing on the waters surface. There was no one around doing any early fishing, just this odd green blob glowing on the lake. I told her that was residue from when the alien morphed into the human kid we had passed. She didn't take to that idea very well. But it makes sense to me! Maybe the pulsing and rippling that's happening in my temple right now is some sort of alien mind control.....

So, tonight, just a few days away from being the exact anniversary of that weird happening, a co-worker of mine, Scott, went walking with me around the neighborhood. It was about 11:45pm and we're walking towards the lake and we feel a blast of warm air. He wondered aloud where that came from and I proceeded to tell him the above story. Then the lake came into view and damned if there wasn't a glowing green glob floating by the rocks.

"Oh my God, look," I cried, pointing it out. We stopped and peered down at it then I noticed there were two more over by the dock.

"Wanna go see what they are," he asked. I agreed then he said, as we're walking towards the lake, "You realize that we're like the typical stupid white people in the horror movies who go looking at what they shouldn't."

Well, we got down there and we're still not quite sure what they were. They were shaped like pellets and they glowed a bright green color...it almost looked like they had little skeletons inside them but it might have been my over-active imagination. They were bobbing along in the water and at first we thought they may have been lures for night fishing but there was no one around and they weren't attached to a line or anything.

It was just plain weird.

Labels: aliens, stories

|

I don't know about you but I'm a pretty superstitious person. Years and years ago at work my maintenance guy, Fred, knocked on my table as he walked by then pointed at me and said, "It's gonna be a good night." It was the best night EVER! To this day if I want good luck I knock twice on whatever's around me and point. Two weeks ago I was at work and had found a small rubberband that was thinner than what we usually use and for some reason I slipped over my hand and wore it on my wrist. That night went super smooth so I figured it was a good luck rubberband.

I haven't taken it off until this morning. I told myself as I was sitting at the stoplight at Union & Academy that it was silly to think a rubberband could bring me good luck. So I took it off and put it around the gear shift. 60 seconds later the turn arrow came on and the dumbass kid in front of me was messing around and stalled his car. We almost missed the arrow and the girl in his backseat kept turning around and giving me stupid looks. Hmm...I thought...would that be considered bad luck? I made the arrow and the only thing that really happened was that I was annoyed. No...it's still okay.

Then Christina came over and we went to the card store. I tried my best to be good but I ended up spending money I probably shouldn't have on Peyton Manning cards, Lost cards and a Beanie Baby Bunny named Hopson. Bad luck yet? No...Just me having no self control.

I went to pick up Jordyn and my parking spot was taken. Not bad luck...I was just running later than normal.

I went to pick up Justin. My spot was taken and I had to park farther up on the curb than I like to. This idiot in a bright red Grand Am pulled up in front of me and started to back up...and up...and up...I had to honk to get him to stop. The lady behind me was shaking her head as this dumbass's antics. He was about an inch away from the front of my car and he just sat there giving me dirty looks in his mirror. I gave them right back. Yeah, I was starting to believe I shouldn't have taken the rubberband off.

While we're waiting for Justin I thought I saw smoke come from my hood. Panicked, I turned the car off and grabbed the rubberband, slipping it back where it belongs. When Justin showed up (10 minutes late, no less) and I started the car the display dinged at me and read "COOLANT." *sigh* Yeah, the rubberband will now be a permanant display on my wrist, I'm thinking. Luckily we made it home without any car problems. The temp gage was where it should be and I never saw anymore smoke. Thank you Rubberband!

Labels: luck, stories

|

I love to write. I love nothing more than a stack of pens and a notebook - I'll doodle endlessly, write whatever comes to mind or even write stories. I have stacks of notebooks with cheesy stories in them that Christina & I used to write when we were toiling overnight at work. What's strange to me is that despite my teachers attempts in school to get me to hate handwriting, I love it!

When I was in 2nd grade, I got zeroes in handwriting. Mr. Wallace, my teacher, said I wrote too fast and too messy. I remember the tests we had where he would say a sentence and we had to write it down word for word. I was always the first one done and at one point he actually said to me, "If I look up and you're the first one done, you're getting a zero!" I wrote as slow as I could and was still the first one done. I outlined every letter three times before Eric Nickerson finished and I could put down my pencil.

In 3rd grade I moved to a new school, one where they hadn't learned to write in cursive yet. I was taught how to in 2nd grade at my other school so I started off the school year writing in cursive. Mrs. Kynor, who was notorious for hating the girl students, gave me zeroes because no one else knew cursive yet. Like that's my fault y'all are slow!! I was informed I would damage the other students' morale if they saw me writing cursive while they were still printing. Pfft! Whatever!

After a while, my handwriting didn't matter to teachers any longer and I was able to indulge in my speedy writing ways. I remember one time playing a game that included writing with my Grandma & Grandpa Widegren and Grandpa watching me saying, "It's amazing how fast Heather writes and you can still read it!" I wished so bad he could call up Mr. Wallace and tell him that!

Labels: stories

|

I was at Safeway today with Dad - - I was driving and was going to pull into a handicapped spot up front. Now before you get upset with me, Dad has a handicapped placard since he has a hard time walking what with arthritis and the neuropathy and all. Anyway...I started to pull into a handicapped space and damned if they hadn't taken down the handicapped sign and replaced it with one that read: "Deli Parking. 10 minutes."

Huh???

I started thinking about this as I found an actual handicapped spot. Why do deli customers need their own parking spot? Why, if you're just running in for some cold cuts and a tub of tater sald do you need to be so close to the damn door? What about the people just running in for some milk? I don't see a Dairy Parking. Or Toiletry Parking for those people who really need a pack of toilet paper.

What's so damn special about deli customers? Why why WHY do they get preferential treatment? If I go to Safeway to buy some eggs, should I have to walk farther than someone going to get a half pound of thin sliced roast beef? Hell, the deli's right by the entrance anyway!! You can walk in, grab your cole slaw and be out before I get to the Cheese-Its aisle!!!

Plus....plus....the Deli Parking spots are CLOSER to the door than the handicapped spots! WTF????? It just doesn't make any sense to me. None. Whoever thought that was a good idea needs to be thunked in the noggin!

Labels: stories

|

I've found a new morning show to listen to on my way home from work since The Peak went country and automated. KVUU 99.9 has a couple great dj's that are even better than the guys on The Peak were - the original 2 guys, not Dan Cochell. Anyway - they have this feature on the My 99.9 Morning Show called Group Therapy.

What happens is someone who needs help with a problem writes to Darren & Coba, they read the letter over the air and listeners call in with their opinions. Usually they're about relationships, like last week it was a guy who wanted to go to Fiji for 5 days with his buddies and leave the wife and kids at home - - that sort of thing. But this morning's letter - whewee!!

A woman named Belinda wrote in about a letter her child had brought home from school about volunteering for the PTA. She wouldn't name the school or the district so I don't know which school did this but - it had options for you to choose in your PTA volunteer work. The last option was: "No, I don't want to volunteer for the PTA. I want my children to become drug addicts, thieves and prostitutes." WHA?????

Everyone who called in said the same thing I was saying out loud in the car. How dare these PTA people, the ones who don't have a job outside of the home, make these working and/or single parents feel that if they don't volunteer at their school, their children will turn into the dregs of society! Totally uncalled for!

My mother didn't start working until I was in junior high and she volunteered for everything at the school. She was a room mother for both Derek & I and she was the treasurer for the PTO. That was fun -- she was in charge of all the fund raisers and it was her job to deposit all the checks. I got to sit at the dining room table and write "For Deopsit Only Widefield Elemantary PTO" on every check. Tedious but it was fun. And Dad, even though he worked full time was the president (or vice, I cant remember now) of the PTO.

Anyway, my point was Derek & I are not drug addicts, thieves and/or prostitutes and yes, both our parents were active in the PTO while we were in school. But I know plenty of other kids whose parents didn't have the time to volunteer and they're not in jail, zoned out on dope or selling themselves on Nevada Ave, either!! Whoever wrote that letter should be ashamed of themselves.

A lot of teachers were calling into the station this morning saying that anything that the PTA hands out for students to take home is supposed to be authorized by the principal of the school. I'm wondering if this memo slipped by this principal or if he/she thought that guilting parents into volunteering this was was a keen idea?

Labels: stories

|

I got to talking to Ginny tonight at work about being mistaken for other people. Strangers who think she's her sister come up and talk to her all the time. My Dad always knows someone whenever we go out anywhere - in fact it got so bad that Mom & Dad would make $20 bets as to whether or not they would see someone they knew.

It doesn't happen to me often. But one time about 4 or 5 years ago, it wasn't just one person who thought they knew me....

I was going to Grand Junction with Mom & Dad and before we got on the road, we stopped at Wal-Mart on 8th Street to get snacks and such. While we were standing in line, the man in front of us kept looking back at me. Looking, looking, looking....finally he decided to change lanes and passed by us. He looked right at me, smiled really big and said, "Hey! How are you doing?"

"Good, how are you," I answered, mostly out of habit. I had no idea who this man was.

"Good, thanks. Well, great to see you." Mom looked at me, waiting for me to say, "Oh, that was Bob from work" but what she got was, "Hell if I know who that was!"

"He sure seemed happy to see you," she said. I had pretty much forgotten about it by the time we reached the McDonald's right across the street. The manager was in the kitchen and the whole time we were ordering he just kept a-starin' at me, just like the Wal-Mart guy.

Pretty soon he came up front and asked how I was doing and said he hadn't seen me in here in a long time. I played along, smiling and laughing. When we walked out, Mom looked at me again for the explanation. I had none. I didn't know him, either!

The only thing we could come up with was that I must look like someone who's from around that area. But considering the place where crazy people go to chill and pill is just up the hill, I'm not so sure that's a compliment!!

Labels: stories

|

Last week Ginny, Prescilla & I took our usual trek to IHOP for lunch. This was our order:

-1 side salad w/ ranch
-2 chicken noodle soups
-1 chicken strips basket
-1 IHOP burger
-1 diet pepsi
-2 coffees

When we got the bill, it looked like this:

-1 chicken strips basket
-1 IHOP burger
total: $13.94

We were floored!! Not only did she not charge us for most of our order, she gave us the business discount on top of everything! This week, we were hoping for the same treatment but when we got our bill, she had charged us for everything, including drinks. I started saying she should give us free apple pie. The more I clamored, the more Ginny & Prescilla decided that apple pie sounded good. So Ginny went and grabbed the waitress and told her what we wanted. When she brought the pie - ala mode, nonetheless - she told us that since we had to "hunt her down" to order dessert, the pies were on the house!!!

Ask and ye shall receive, my new motto! :-)

Labels: stories

|

Tuesday night Collin came to have dinner with me at work. The kids were with their mom so it only took us maybe 30 minutes to eat and we decided we'd hang out at Quail Lake and watch the bats for a while. There weren't as many as there had been the last time we saw them and I started wondering if maybe my heron* was hanging aroound anywhere close. Collin had never seen my bird in the flesh and he was agreeable to seeing if we could locate him.

Quail Lake is a very popular fishing spot and even at 8:45 at night there were still a handful of people there with their poles and bait. As we were walking down the lake path toward where we had just seen the heron fly in, we heard one of these fishers let out a startling scream and I saw a pole go flying up in the air. I couldn't tell what was going on because there were bushes and I didn't care too much because I had a heron to track.

The damn bird was taunting us, though. We'd get to where he was and he'd fly to where we had just been. We went through this for a while before I said "Screw it, it's getting dark and I have to get back to work." On our way back up the path we ran across two young men carrying their fishing gear, one of them limping hard. The other was laughing and the limper hollered out, "Shut up! It hurt, man, it fucking hurt!!" Then they saw us. The laugher looked at us, jerked his thumb towards his buddy and said, "He got bit in the toe by a fish!!!" and started laughing again. His friend looked so embarrassed! That, however, explained the yelling and the throwing of the pole, though. See what fishing will get you? No good comes from fish, I'm telling you!

*= I related this story to AJ, a co-worker and after he finished laughing his ass off, he told me that his next door neighbor has a backyard pond that he keeps stocked with quite expensive fish. One morning he looked out to see a Great Blue Heron "getting his grub on" with his fish. The bird ate his whole stock!! And you know the bird was like, "Aw, hell yeah! I've hit the jackpot!"

Labels: stories

|

Yes, I was slacking in my blogging duties this past weekend. But it was for a good cause: mine & Collin's 2nd anniversary! Yay!!

Friday night we went to The Mona Lisa in Manitou Springs for dinner. I had never been there, nor had Collin so it was a novel experience for us both.

For those of you not familiar with The Mona Lisa, it's a fondue restaurant and it's absolutely scrumptious!! We ordered the "Fondue For Two" in which you get to try all 4 courses that they offer. We started with Caesar salads and bread. The cheese course was next but it took a while in getting to us. Because of this, David, our waiter with a Scottish accent, kept offering us complimentary glasses of wine. However, neither Collin nor I drink wine so we stuck with the water.

The cheese course we chose was a swiss blend with a white wine base - - very good and very strong. We had breads, broccoli, cauliflower, apples & carrots to dip into the cheese. The apples were my favorite and what we got 2nds of. That's one thing I really like about that place - they encourage 2nds!

Because of the wait on the cheese and our refusal of wine, we got an extra dipping sauce for our meat course. We had chosen the Classic Meats which included beef teriyaki, flatiron steak, chicken, alligator bratwurst and 2 types of fish. I do not eat fish ("If it comes from the sea, it's no good for me" is my personal motto.) so David allowed us to substutite extra chicken and quail for the fish. The little quail still had his arms and legs so I made him dance on the hot plate where we cooked him (you cook your own meats) - come to find out, Derek did the same thing with his quail the last time he had been there. Must be a Knight thing...

The meats were all excellent and were accented by the most heavenly garlic red potatoes I've ever had. I wanted 2nds of them and would have asked for some if I didn't know that the dessert course was coming. That's right - the dessert "course."

You have the choice of milk, dark or white chocolate. You can add flavors to your choice of chocolate. We chose white chocolate with Amaretto. Mmmmm.......they brought us a platter with the following desserts to dip: marshmallows, brownies, cheesecake, pretzels, apples, mandarin oranges, angel food cake, poppyseed cake, coconut macaroons and strawberries. We got 2nds of the marshmallows, coconut macaroons, brownies and poppyseed cake. Then when all that was left was a couple pretzels, here comes David.

"Would you like more? We can bring you more chocolate..." Collin said no, looking like he was going to burst. But me....I had to have more mandarin oranges. They were the perfect ending to a perfect meal. When we got the check, they also gave us a $10 gift card because of the wait on the cheese. Whoo-hoo!! I want to use it for more dessert!

Coming tomorrow: Climbing The Castle - Or Trying To (With Pictures!!!)...

Labels: stories

|

This past weekend I got the urge to go to the library and I dragged Collin along. Not like I needed to go - I have plenty of books waiting to be read but I had a hankerin' so we went. After I finished ravaging the bookshelves, I made my way over to the music section where Collin was flipping through cd's. Next to the cd shelves is the lounging area where people can sit and read quietly. While I was looking at the music, I was aware of someone talking very low behind me about books but it didn't really bother me.

Suddenly, this bullhorn of a voice shouts out, "YOU DO KNOW THERE ARE SIGNS THAT SAY YOU CAN'T USE CELL PHONES INSIDE, DON'T YOU? THERE'S ONE RIGHT OVER THERE THAT SAYS YOU HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE IF YOU'RE GOING TO TALK ON YOUR CELL PHONE!" I realized that the low talking I had been hearing had indeed been a young girl talking to a friend on her phone while she sat in one of the chairs. The bullhorn belonged to a battleaxe of an old woman sitting across from her. The young girl didn't even reply to the old lady, just kept on talking to her friend. "I'M GOING TO TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT YOU!" And she stormed off.

Now, because I was paying attention to her, I heard the young girl say, "It's just some old biddy yelling at me. She's ten times louder than I was with her complaining." And that's the truth! I never would have paid one lick of attention to the cell user if the old lady hadn't started her screaming.

Pretty soon, I see her barreling back towards our area. "YOU ARE VERY RUDE," she says. The girl replied, very calmly, "And you are very loud." The battleaxe didn't even blink an eye. "YOU ARE VERY RUDE AND THE SECURITY GUARD IS ON HIS WAY TO TALK TO YOU." "Okay, thank you," the young girl said. By this time she had hung up her phone and was quietly reading. After about 5 minutes, one of the ladies who worked at the library came and very politely explained their rules on cell phone usage and the girl apologized and said she would take it outside the next time.

I wish I had had the guts to tell the old lady she was being more of a nuisance than the younger girl but I didn't feel it was my place to barge in.

Labels: Books, stories

|

My mom is the manager of a Big Lots store here in town. She's been there since the store opened 20-some odd years ago and it was called Pic-N-Save. I still call it Pic-N-Save (and MacFrugals sometimes - it's had 3 names over the course of it's lifetime) but whatever it's called, there's always something strange happening there. But I think the strangest thing happened the other day.

The story Mom told went something like this: A woman had purchased a Milton Bradley toy for her 4 year old son. The toy was in a plastic packaging with reinforced cardboard corners. As soon as she paid for it, the kid opened it up and pulled the corners off. Suddenly he says, "Mommy! Look at the naked children!"

It turns out that stuffed inside the cardboard corners were drawings of naked kids!!! There was German writing underneath the drawings. The woman showed the drawings to Renee, the assistant manager, who immediately checked the other MB toys they had there with the same corners...she found one other package with the same drawings.

The customer called Milton Bradley to let them know and the answer she got: "None of the people who work for us would do something like that. It was put there by someone who works in the store where you bought it." How's that for passing the buck? No concern, no apology, no trying to find out who works for them could have done this and by doing so making their company look bad....no! Someone at Big Lots surely opened these toys, slipped the drawings inside and somehow magically sealed it right back up. Luckilly, the customer saw the illogic of this and let Renee know what the MB rep had said.

There's some sick people in this world and by ignoring it (like the MB rep), it's only going to get worse!

Labels: Mom, stories

|

Derek was talking about poo yesterday and it reminded me of something that happened at work last week. Brace yourself.

It was about 4:40am and I was on my way to the bathroom. To get to the women's bathroom, there's a little corner to turn. As I was approaching the corner, I noticed something sitting on the floor midway between the men's & women's restrooms. The closer I got, the more horrified I became. It was poo.

It was small and squishy-looking, coiled like a mini chocolate donut. There was no way it had been tracked inside from the ground because it wasn't smeared and it didn't have any footprints on it. It was a perfectly formed pile of poo. It wasn't fake, either. I didn't touch it, mind you, but you could tell. I looked to see if there was a trail of poo leading into one of the bathrooms but the rest of the floor was clear. I sidestepped it, walking into the women's room wondering where it came from.

I mentioned it to Prescilla when we went for our 5:30 walk. She had seen it, also, and was just as horrified as I was. We discussed where it could have came from. Our thoughts:

-Someone placed it there, perhaps as a joke or a message that they were unhappy with the business.

-It fell out of someone's pants in a rush to the toilet. (Prescilla's response to this idea was: "That means someone we work with has Poopy Pants!!")

-A small animal such as a dog or cat somehow gained entrance without being seen and pooped on the floor.

When we returned from our walk, Prescilla told AJ & Gabe about it and the boys went to investigate. Gabe even snapped a picture of it with his phone. I wish I had had my camera so I could have shared the horror. No one admitted to the poop and no one seemed to know where it came from. When I left that morning, someone had stepped in it and smeared it across the floor. It was gone by the time we came back that night.

I'm thinking if it was left as a joke someone would have owned up to it by now: "Did you see the poo I left on the floor?? Wasn't that hi-larious??" No one has mentioned it again, though...it's a mystery that will never be solved.

Labels: stories

|

I got that line from Shanon, by the way. I think it's funny. Anyway, for today's reading pleasure, here is something that really irks my cookies.

Moths.

I saw my first moth of the season last night and it disturbed me. I've been quite happy without the moths, thank you very much, and I'm not pleased that it's that time of the year again. The time of year for me to start ducking when I walk outside or come close to crashing my car because a rogue moth has somehow gotten inside and is flapping madly about at the windows.

But the point of my story is this: I'm supposed to be safe at work from bugs, spiders, bees & moths. But it's becoming all too clear that this was a lie. A couple years ago I found a large black spider in my smock pocket causing undo chaos and last night - well....

I was sitting in corner, reading my book when something overhead caught my attention. The ceiling tile above where I sit is missing, has been since I can remember. The moth flew down from the hole left by the missing tile and started fluttering about around my head! Of course I jumped to my feet and ran to the other side of the room. The gross thing flitted and bumped around before finding another ceiling hole and disappearing, hopefully FOREVER!

I really, really hate moths. They're disgusting and made of the dust from their departed brethren, I swear. What I want to know is, is there a place in the world where I can go to be safe from moths? Or am I doomed to an eternity of Moth Hell?

Labels: bugs, stories

|

I almost got hit - in the head - by a BIRD!! A Magpie, actually. He was flying all loopy & crazy and was heading straight for my head (we were walking in front of the lake) and when I screamed, he dipped, ducked & dodged. Prescilla didn't even see it!! She thought I was crazy!

THEEENNNNN - - I'm pretty dang sure I saw a ghost! Seriously! I was handtesting on the serial floor and for the video portion of the test there's a black border that I can see my reflection in. I was checking out my hair which I had just braided and was looking to make sure that no strands were sticking out and I swear (!!!!) I saw a man walk behind me, way back against the wall. The creepy thing is that there's tables and handlers up against the wall so no one can really walk there. I whipped around & of course there was no one there!

It doesn't help that I'm also reading a spooky book.

Labels: ghosts, stories

|

I've been, once again, working on genealogy and in going through some old family letters and such from my grandma, I found the following recipe:

"1 qt. vinegar
shells of 1 doz eggs
simmer in a pot vessell with a light lid down to about a pint.
put in 2 big onions, cook till tender then strain through a cloth.
cook in sugar or honey to thick syrup
a teaspoonful every few hours as needed."

You know what this recipe is for?

Bleeding in the lungs.

No joke. That's the header of the recipe. "For Bleeding at the Lungs." I'm thinking that the eggshells alone would contribute to my lungs bleeding!! Gack!

And!!! My new post dedicated to the courtship of my great-grandparents is finally up & running!! Check out the inagural post here!!

Labels: family, stories

|

Yesterday was another windy day here in Colorado Springs. It seems that this past 6 months or so have been windier than I can ever remember. And I mean gusty, blow-your-pet-away winds, too. A few months ago, during one of these big wind storms, a fishing dock at Quail Lake, across from where I work and the lake that Prescilla & I trot around, was blown into the middle of the lake. It sat there for about a week before someone hauled it back into shore and taped it up with the yellow "CAUTION" tape.

About a month ago when it started to get warm, the yellow tape was taken off and people started using the dock once again to fish. Today was no exception.

Quail Lake was packed with fishers, walkers, bikers & joggers due to the warm weather. The gusty winds didn't seem to deter them a bit. Prescilla & I were on our first jaunt around the lake when she noticed that one of the fishing docks, full of people (4 adults and 2 kids, it looked like) were in the middle of the lake. She was wondering how they got out there and I suggested that possibly the wind had blown them out there while they were fishing.

"No, I don't think the wind is that strong," she said. "But I don't see a boat or anything around them." We kept an eye on them while we walked by and around for the 2nd lap. We were on the south side of the lake when we saw that a fire truck and a volunteer fire truck had pulled up on the north side, where we were headed. It appeared that I had been right, that the wind had indeed blown them into the middle of the lake and stranded them.

One of the firefighters swam into the lake and attached a thick yellow rope to the dock and a couple more firefighters up at the truck were pulling them in slowly. Imagine how heavy that would be!! There was the big fire engine, the volunteer truck and 2 cops. As we walked by (it was the closest I had ever been to a fire truck that wasn't barreling down the street and it was pretty cool!!), another fire truck, this one marked "HEAVY RESCUE" came around the corner.

"Well, this is definitely something those people can tell all their friends," I laughed. "How they were marooned out on Quail Lake and had to be rescued!"

"And everyone will know about it," Prescilla said, pointing to the 5&30 News truck that was pulling up as we crossed the street. It was the most action Quail Lake had seen since Christopher Abeyta disappeared years & years ago and they drained it looking for him. At least there was no tragedy there today. Just some wind-stranded fishers!

Labels: stories

|

For only a 3 day weekend, I had a lot of stuff going on. In fact, I've decided to break everything down and give you my weekend story in 3 installments. Great fun for YOU! Here we go with Part 1:

I went shopping with Shanon & Elena on Thursday. I had decided to drive so I unlocked the car so Shanon could put the carseat in then went to throw my garbage in the dumpster. Normally, I would have had my keys in my purse but since I had just used them, they were in my right hand. I remember thinking that I better be careful and not accidentally throw them in the dumpster!

I opened the huge lid and noticed that the garbage men had been there that morning - the thing was completely empty. I tossed the bag over and then felt the horrible feeling of my keys being yanked from my hand. There was nothing I could do - BAM! The bag & my keys hit the bottom of the dumpster. "Shit!!" I yelled then kept repeating it as I stalked across the parking lot. "Did you throw your keys in the dumpster," Shanon asked. "Yes!"

"I thought so. All I heard was 'CLUNK!' then "Shit!!!" We started laughing at my predicament as I searched through my trunk for something to pull the keys back up with. I grabbed a squeegee and we headed over. Luckilly there was a hole in the garbage bag that allowed me to slip the sponge part into it and pull the bag up. The keys stayed attached the whole way up for easy retrieval!

I have a key chain that Collin bought for me at The Stanley Hotel in Estes Park. It's the room tag, name plate & skeleton key from the hotel in The Shining. The skeleton key's teeth had gotten stuck on the bag and that's why they were yanked out of my grip! Thank goodness I was able to get them back easily! The thought of having to dumpster dive to get my keys back was not appealing!!!

Coming tomorrow - "A Teenager Learns About Sex." See you tomorrow!!

Labels: Funny, stories

|

There were so many people at my Grandma's house this past weekend that the place was constantly abuzz with conversation. Mostly I just sat and listened as people talked but somehow I ended up at one point in a little circle that consisted of myself, Mom, Aunt Thelma and my cousin Nita. We talked for over an hour and then someone was called into another room or got a phone call or something but suddenly I was sitting on the floor alone and heard a snippet of a conversation between my cousin Jody, his wife Malea and another cousin, Kirsten. What I heard Jody say was, "Can we do the spanking in the morning?"

My first thought was that Jody was being crude but then I realized that Kirsten wasn't the type of person you would tell a joke/story like that to. She's way too sweet & nice. And then Malea jumped in and finished the story, highlighting what I had missed. It's too funny not to share.

Jody & Malea's daughter, Sierra, is about 4. She went up to Malea one night around 10:30 and asked if she could have some ice cream. "Absolutely not," Malea replied. "I'll make you some oatmeal or cereal if you're hungry but it's too late for ice cream." Sierra walked away and the incident was forgotten until Malea heard a noise in the kitchen. Walking in, she found her daughter dishing herself up a bowl of ice cream.

"If you eat that ice cream, you'll get a spanking," Malea warned. Sierra looked at her, then the ice cream and said, "Okay. But can we do the spanking in the morning? I really need this ice cream."

Malea admitted she was in a quandry. What could she do? So, she relented and Sierra ate the ice cream. Jody said the next morning, she came into their bedroom and said, "Okay, I'm ready for my spanking." So she's got the system all figured out. A little bit of discomfort in trade for the truly yummy things in life she would be denied if she followed the rules. I have to start subscribing to her way of thinking!! :-)

Labels: family, Funny, stories

|

I'm not sure how old I was - probably jr high or high school, but one day I took thin-sliced roast beef and wrapped it around nacho cheese flavored Doritos. It was the most wonderful thing I had ever eaten. In fact, writing about it now makes me want to head on over to King Soopers and get some!! Mmmm....

Anyway, my point is that after I found that great combo, I started experimenting a little here & there, finding foods to go together. My first success was bagged popcorn from Albertsons and stick pepperoni. Don't know why but it tasted incredibly yummy together! Then a couple weeks ago I started dipping Fritos Scoops into peanut butter. Considering that I think Fritos are the only way to go chip-wise with a PB&J, this made perfect sense to me.

But last night - last night was the oddest. And it tasted pretty good. Fritos Scoops dipped in caramel. Yep. That's right. Caramel. You know that dipping caramel you get for apples? Well, I'd eaten all the apple slices I had and still had a half tub of caramel left and a big ol bag of Scoops just staring me in the face. Why not, I thought. The salty mixed with the overpowering sweetness somehow worked. Amazing.

Not sure I'll make a habit out of it but maybe every once in a while....

Labels: stories

|

(I couldn't resist an Ace Frehley reference there!)

So, last week I'm sitting in Old Chicago with Shanon and Elena, eatin' some chicken, talkin' about blogs when Shanon says, "You should write about that stupid new speed limit sign they have on Circle." Ooo! Great idea - thanks!! So here we go:

On Circle Drive, the road I take to work, and on Constitution Avenue, the road my parents live on, they have these new speed limit signs that will tell you how fast you're going. The speed limit is 30 (pfft! Way too slow, seriously!) so if you're going 30 or under, it simply displays your speed. If you're between 31-39 it flashes "SLOW DOWN" at you. Anything over 40 (this is where it gets good) you get these red and blue flashing lights on the screen like a little cop car is inside there.

I don't drive down the part of Constitution where the sign is often but Circle is my route to work so I'm there 3-4 nights a week. I never go 30. At least, I never used to go 30...now people see this sign and they slam on their brakes and I end up having to follow suit lest I end up in the backend of someone's Toyota. It drives me crazy that these drivers think that a sign is going to get them. There's never a cop around these signs...they put them up on curves because there have been people who have taken the curve too fast and ended up in the yards of the houses that flank the road. This sign is meant to serve as a warning only. It can't give you a ticket so it drives me nuts when we're all proceeding at the nice round speed of 40 and suddenly all you see are brake lights! It's a hazard, really!

I've only gotten the flashing lights thrown at me once, maybe twice. Last night on my way to work there was no one in front of me and I only got the "SLOW DOWN" message. Some people actually slow all the way down to 20! Swear to God, 20 miles per hour! I mean, come on!!! Only in a school zone is that necessary. This has become a hinderance in traffic flow - I might have to start taking Academy to work. Yuck.

Labels: stories

|