***Collin has the spooky whisper voice thing pulled off the tape and it should be posted here very soon!!!***

Jordyn's birthday is coming up on Friday and this year she's having a Skate City birthday party. Of course she's beside herself with excitement. Her job today was to call her great grandma and her aunt to invite them.

Me: Did you call great grandma & Pam?

Jordyn: Yeah but I had forgotten why I had called so I was just talking then I went "Oh, yeah...." and great grandma said "Yes?" And I said I didn't remember.

Me: So you never invited them to the party?

Jordyn: No...I forgot why I had called.

Me: *sigh* Call them back and tell them about the party.

So off she goes, phone in hand, to the basement.

Me: Did you call them?

Jordyn: I left a voice message.

Me: What did you say?

Jordyn: I just told them it was at Skate City on Academy & Beauregard.

Me: Academy & WHAT?

Jordyn: Academy & Beauregard.

Me: It's Academy & Constitution.

Jordyn: I thought it was Beauregard.

Me: It's Academy BOULEVARD, not Beauregard.

Jordyn: Ohhhh.....

Goof.

Labels: Conversations, Funny, Jordyn

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Yesterday I was messing around online and started to take an astrology based quiz. The first thing it asked for was my sign. I had to choose it from a drop down menu and next to the sign names were the birthdates that make up those signs. As I clicked on Aquarius I noticed that the dates that emcompass the water bearer were January 20-February 18. "Wait a minute," I said to myself. "That can't be right! This is just a stupid little quiz site - they have to be wrong."

The problem here was that for 3 years now I've been telling Jordyn that she's an Aquarius, just like her Dad and I. She was always very happy that we had the same sign. But her birthday is January 18 and if this site was correct then she wasn't an Aquarius!! So I headed over to the trusted Wikipedia site and looked. Sure enough - Jan 20 was the first Aquariun date.

When she got home, I told her I had some bad news for her, that she wasn't an Aquarius. "You missed being one by 2 days," I said.

"WHAT??? I can't be an Aquarius for TWO DAYS???" Like it was a punishment; like her father said when I told him: "You left the water running...your punishment is to be a Capricorn for two days!" (get it? Water? Aquarius? Enh, never mind...)

"No, you missed being an Aquarius by two days. You're actually a Capricorn."

"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!" You'd think her world had come crashing down around her. No longer could she claim to be our Aquarian sister...she was a lone Capricorn now. But I'm sure she'll handle it well once she adjusts.

Labels: astrology, Jordyn

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Jordyn called me tonight at work to let me know she had lost another tooth. We talked about that for a while then she said she wasn't sure she had anything else to tell me.

Jordyn: Do you have anything to tell me?

Me: I can't think of anything.

J: Well, why don't you ever tell me any of the things you tell Dad?

Me: I didn't think you'd be interested in what was going on here at work.

J: Try me. Tell me something.

Me: Okay, I'm the only one here tonight who has work.

J: You're kidding!! What about your boss?

Me: We don't have a boss. Well, we do but he only works days.

J: Wow! That's sweet!! I would be all, 'I've got no boss, I'm gonna lay down, take a nap and read a book!'

Already she's got the right kind of work ethic. Ha!

And here's my shameless plug: new post on that other blog of mine!!

Labels: Jordyn, shameless plugs

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I was sitting at work today talking to Prescilla when she mentioned that tonight was the Country Music Awards. She said that one of the performers would be Tim McGraw. Well, Jorydn looooves Tim McGraw - she calls him her "second marrier" behind her number one man, Keith Urban. So I ran to the phone and let her know her man would be on. Here's the end of the conversation:

Me: I'll see you in the morning.

Jordyn: I'll...duh! Of course I'll see you in the morning! I was thinking you'd be coming home tonight but you're at work so of course I'll see you in the morning!

Me: Right. I'll be there when you get up.

Jordyn: It must suck to work overnight.

Me: Not really. I actually like it.

Jordyn: Yeah, but staying up all night...it gets harder as you get older.

Me: You think so, huh?

Jordyn: Oh, yeah! When I was 3 I could stay up all night and now I can hardly make it to 1am! I try and I'm all, 'I'm just gonna rest my eyes' and ZZZZZZ!"

Labels: Jordyn

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Jordyn was in her first play tonight at school. She played the father of Russian astronautics, whose name I'm not going to attempt to spell. I could look it up but I'm too lazy. It's Russian and long. Anyway, Collin made her little black frames that sat on her nose and a gray beard and moustache...she looked SO cute!

When it was her turn for her lines, she was doing great and I was thinking she was the best one so far when she said, "Wait. Oh, I messed that up." Then she picked up from where she left off and was fine. She didn't seem bothered by the fact that she flubbed. I would have been destroyed if that had been me in 1st grade!!

The play was about space...it was called Spaced Out...and there were the 9 kids dressed as planets; they still call Pluto a planet in the play. It's not all up-to-date like science claims to be. Their song was way too fun!

So congrats to Jordyn! Collin videoed the whole thing so maybe we'll get some footage of her up one of these days!

Labels: Jordyn

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I am in the process of recovering from the Zit From Hell. I'm talking Pustulio-type zit here.

Except that it was on lower lip, dead center. It looked like 3 zits on top of each other and it HURT!!! It was awful - it looked like a cold sore.
I was in the car with Jordyn a few days ago waiting for her brother to get out of school and I started examining the growth on my lip in the visor mirror. I'm just thinking about how easily I could take over the world with my hypnotic zit, just like Zim tried to,

when Jordyn asked what that thing was.

"It's a zit. You've got about 6 more years before you have to worry about getting these things."

"Really? I better live a good six years then."

Labels: Jordyn, zim

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Collin recently pulled off all the pictures from my camera - it had been so long since that had been done, there were pictures from before Christmas on there! So this is a random offering of photos! Hold on tight cuz here we go!!


Even Jordyn, when I showed her this, didn't know why she looked the way she did. This is the greatest picture ever!!


Shanon & Elena. I love this picture! Elena has the best smile!


This is Jordyn on Thursday with the soon-to-be newest member of our family, Carson. Carson is a 5 year old shepard/smooth coat collie mix that we're adopting (he should be permanent member of the household by Saturday) and he is the best dog I've ever known!!


Santa needed a little extra help this past Christmas so my hamster Sam filled in. What a good hamster...



And here he is showing me that his food bowl is near empty - - "Don't stand there taking a picture of me! Feed me!!!!"


This is my friend Christina. I've always thought she had a striking resemblance to SpongeBob.

So there you go! More to come in the following days! Hope you all had a fantabulous weekend!

Labels: Carson, Elena, family, Jordyn, Pictures

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A couple of weeks ago I went shopping with Shanon & Elena as is my norm. Shanon informed me that Elena had a new song and told her to tell me what it was. "Do you know the song 'We Built This City?' she asked me. I answered that I did indeed know that song and she said she loved it, it was her very favorite song! Later on, while we were shopping, she asked me, "Do you know what we built this city on?"

"Umm...rock & roll?"

"That's right!!!"

__________________________

Saturday evening before I went into work, Jordyn was giving me a quiz. It was all about her. What was her favorite song, who was her queen friend (me, by the way! :-) ) etc, etc. I did fairly well on it. The next evening, she did the same thing but changed a couple of the answers. After a while I told her I was asking her questions! "What's my favorite sport?"

"Football."

"Yes. Who's my favorite team?"

"The Broncos."

"Yes. Who's my favorite Bronco player?"

"Uhhh....Jake Pummler?" I love not only that she knew him but the way she said his name. "Pummler."

Then Collin asked her what my favorite movie was. "Cat Go Blue," she answered, thinking of Cat Ballou.

She didn't guess my favorite song, though. I think maybe only Collin knows that one!

Labels: Elena, Jordyn

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Sitting in the car waiting for Collin to get out of the Diamond Shamrock - -

Me: Man, your dad didn't leave the keys! He should have left the keys so we could listen to the radio!

Jordyn: Yeah, what if we miss "White Boy?"

Me: Huh?

Jordyn: You know, "Play That Funky Music."

Me: Oh, yeah!

Jordyn: That's why I love KLITE - they play 70's music every weekend. I'm a firm believer in 70's music.

Labels: Jordyn

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Last weekend, we were all busy moving and didn't stop for dinner until almost 9pm. We decided we would just hit Wendy's on the way back to the house. Being that the hour was late, there was only one other person in the place and she was reading while she ate.

As we sat down, a group of 2 couples came in and one in particular was very loud. You know the type: short, crew-cut, big mouth and an attitude that screams "I THINK I'M FUNNY" but he's really not. Those types bug the hell outta me. Anyway...they ordered at sat down across the dining area from us. Mr. Crew Cut kept talking to the lone girl, making smart remarks that his group found hilarious. She just smiled politely and kept reading.

At one point, Mr. Crew Cut decided he needed something from the front counter. But he doesn't simply walk up and get it. No, he goes into stealth mode, crouching while he walked, trying not to be seen. His buddies thought this was great fun. After he grabbed whatever he needed, he went into a dive & roll across the floor. Everyone at his table lost their heads laughing at him.

Jordyn & I were the only ones at our table to see this feat. In my head, I'm thinking, "What an ultramaroon. What a nincowpoop" but Jordyn...Loudly, she says, "That was stupid!!" Collin & Justin asked "What was?" And she points and says, even louder, "That guy over there...." I sshed her and quietly told the guys what Mr. Crew Cut had done.

I loved that these 4 adults who were in their late 20's/early 30's were cracking up over his antics and a 6 year old is the one who calls a spade a spade. It WAS stupid. I know they all heard her and I hope they realized that it's pretty sad when a 1st grader has more class than they do.

Labels: Jordyn

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Jordyn: You know whose music I really like?

Me: Who?

Jordyn: Mario Speedwagon

Labels: Jordyn

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So last night we settled down to watch a little Season 2 of Reno 911 on DVD. As the credits were rolling on the first episode, Collin's 13 year old son blurts out, "Did you know there's actually a Reno?" Much hilarity ensued as we all laughed at him. Mean, maybe but funny. Even Jordyn, who's 6, was laughing at him. At first I thought that Jordyn was laughing only because Collin and I were but then she says, "Silly Justin, Reno is a cop. Reno means cop!"

I'm not sure which was funnier. Have a great weekend!!!!

Labels: Jordyn

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A few weeks ago, I went shopping with Shanon & Elena. One of the stores we stopped into was Wal-Mart. While in the crafty aisle, I was standing next to Elena who was sitting the in the cart. The cart was parked next to a large pillar that had merchandise hanging from it. The particular items were "Wet Floor" warning signs complete with the picture of the little guy slipping and falling. Elena pointed to it and said, "Do you know what this means?"

"No, what," I asked, eager to hear her interpretation.

"It means 'Don't die.'" Shanon and I both laughed. "I think we should buy some," she continued, undaunted.

"Why? Do you need to be reminded not to die," I questioned. She shook her little blonde head and said, "They're not for me." I'm wondering who she thought needed to be reminded!!

A second incident, this one with Collin's 6 year old Jordyn, occurred Friday afternoon. She was playing a computer game called Wingnut with the headphones on when suddenly she asked me, "What's a walnut?"

"It's a certain type of nut," I told her.

"Well, this girl in this game just called me a walnut." Her brother knew what she playing and was familiar with the terminology so he told her that she had been called a wingnut and not a walnut. Jordyn looked at Justin and with all seriousness said, "What kind of nut would have a wing????"

Labels: Elena, Jordyn

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Every Thursday it's my job to pick Collin's son Justin up from school. I usually get there a good half an hour early so I don't have to fight for a parking spot so that means a lot of idle time for Jordyn & me. This particular Thursday I happened to bring the camera...


Smile & look cute, Jordyn!! Awww...


"Wait!! I can look cuter!! See?"


Jordyn absconded with my camera and - eeyeew! - there I am!! Do not focus on me, check out the awesome seat covers I got from Shanon for Christmas: purple, soft and decorated with Amy Brown art! Way cool!!!


Aha! The punishment for taking a picture of me! I wrapped her up in her coat and tied the arms behind her back so she couldn't move, a trick I learned from her father. Don't worry, it was all in fun and she wasn't really trapped.


And finally the boy arrives after a long day of learnin' stuff.

Happy Friday everyone! Hope you all have a fine weekend!

Labels: Jordyn, Pictures

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Last weekend, Collin & I stopped into the north Best Buy to look around and noticed that in the center of the store they had Guitar Hero set up for people to try out. There were two young boys, maybe 10 or 11, playing. Not very well, either. It was obvious that was their first attempt at being a Guitar Hero. We watched them a while then I finally got my chance...I played Ziggy Stardust and while I didn't wow anyone with my playing, I finished the song and did much better than the younguns. Collin mentioned on our way out that we should take Jordyn & Justin up there so they could play in front of an audience.

So that's what we did. Saturday evening we wandered in there and found the game unattended. Jordyn started off first with Thunder Kiss '65. While she was playing, a woman & her husband walked up, accompanied by their young son, maybe 3 or 4 years old. They were watching her play in awe. Jordyn was doing great, only missing a couple notes here and there. She swung the guitar neck up for double points so fast it was almost a blur! When she wasn't singing along with the words, she had her tongue sticking out in the utmost concentration. The lady looked at her husband and said, "She's singing with it! She's the coolest chick ever!!"

Justin & I each had a couple turns, doing really good but it was Jordyn that brought the crowd. Here was this 6 year old girl playing songs like Smoke On The Water and I Wanna Be Sedated like she was born to.

It was obvious, however, that the employees were not thrilled with our Saturday night excursion. They glared and said loud enough for us to hear that they wished they could put a note on the Playstation that the system would lock up if you played the same songs in a row. At one point, two of them actually brought the manager over as if to have him kick us off the game. The guy told the loser employees to leave us be and get back to work! HaHA!

At the end of it all, Jordyn closed out the show with her Tony Iommi impersonation. The woman and her husband had wandered back over to watch. When she was done, the husband picked up the game and walked off. We had successfully convinced someone to buy the game just by playing it! It was amazing!!

I did go ahead and purchase Franz Ferdinand's 2 CD's, just because I felt that would lessen the heat on us from the glaring employees. When I went to pay, Jordyn told the young girl waiting on me that we rocked at GuitarHero. She replied with, "I think that thing's annoying." Way to encourage the kids, girlie.

I wish we could get her on tape so you could all see Jordyn playing. It's amazing. Watch out, Gary Hoey!

Labels: Games, Jordyn

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Tuesday night, Collin & the kids came to have dinner with me on my lunch break from work. We went to Culver's and as we were sitting there waiting for our food, I was talking and gesturing with my hands. Jordyn, who was sitting across from me, suddenly says, "What's that red stuff on your finger?"

"Huh?" I'm looking at my hands & fingers and I don't see anything.

"Underneath your fingernail, it looks like blood." I really look hard then but still see nothing. I showed my nails to her and said it must have been a trick of the light.

The next morning, I was at Collin's, playing with Sam the hamster.

I was reading Collin's post while Sam was trying his best to escape my hands. He got annoyed with me and bit my finger hard enough to draw blood. We put him back and I washed the blood off, not thinking too much about it. A bit later we were driving and I said, "Hey, there's still blood underneath my fingernail from Sam biting me."

Collin looked over at me and said, "Just like Jordyn saw." Oooo....spooky!!!

Plus - a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my baby, Collin!! I hope you have a wonderful birthday!!

Labels: Jordyn

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Yeah, yeah - I know I promised to show you all the Thank You cards I made today but Collin didn't upload them into Flickr like I thought he had and I don't know how (yet!) so today you get the silly fun of Random Thursday! Yay!

Last week Jordyn & I went to have lunch with Collin. On our way to Schlotsky's, Jordyn starts talking about this boy in her kindergarten class. "You know, that Calvin doesn't have much going on in his head." While laughing, we managed to register our shock that she would say that. "Well, it's true," she continued dilligently, "He's only got the Land of Silly filling his head!"

- - - - -

Dad was up in Parker for 4 days this past weekend watching my cousins Mandy & Amy while their parents went to Vegas for a vacation. Through a roundabout way, Dad & Amy got to talking about suicide. Amy asked Dad how he would kill himself. "I wouldn't kill myself," he replied. Amy said, "I'd eat 40 teaspoons of salt. That'd kill ya!" Dad told her that she'd never get that much salt down and she said, "Yeah, but it would kill ya!"

- - - - -

Hey, how about a picture or two, just to round out the randomness?


Derek in his Popeye impersination. Can you see that little red thing on his eye? Over on the right? That was like a blood blister that never went away! It got knocked off twice and always grew back. He finally had it removed by a laser - I remember being in the waiting room looking through a Highlights magazine (I was only in 6th grade maybe so he was in 3rd) and hearing him screeeeeaaaam.....scared me to death!


It's Collin!! He's so cute!!!


Here's Brando/Otto trying his damndest to get out of his cage. You can see the determination his beady little eye and the way his teeth are gnawing for all he's worth!!

Well, that's all I got today. Have a great Thursday!

Labels: amalgams, family, Jordyn, Pictures

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Not only am I a giant Broncos fan, I love football as a whole. I will watch any game, pro or college, even if I'm not rooting for one particular team. I just really like football. And I think I'm passing this on to Collin's 6 year old daughter.

Tuesday night we were sitting in Culver's having dinner when Jordyn says, "I was watching Alan today..."

Collin: "Alan?"

Jordyn: "Yeah, you know...the show? She's really funny."

Me: "You mean Ellen?"

J: "Yeah, Ellen." 6 years old and her favorite show is Ellen Degeneres' talk show. Go figure. "Anyway, I'm watching Ellen and she starts talking about how happy she is that the Seahawks won and I'm all like, 'Ellen, I love you but the Seahawks?? Come on!'"

I had to hide my face, I was laughing so hard. I finally was controlled enough to tell her that it's okay that the Seahawks won because they weren't playing the Broncos. She nodded sagely as she ingested this piece of information. Then she blithely informed us all how much she likes football. I'm so proud!

Labels: Broncos, Jordyn

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It's been snowing here since yesterday afternoon. It's cold, too. Today's projected high is 6. Six. That's freakin' FREEZING!! What that means to me is that the snow from Saturday's snowstorm hasn't melted and is being covered up by the new snow. Which makes me nervous driving. I hate driving in snow and ice. Yesterday I was on my way to work - because of construction I've been taking Murray to Fountain to Circle instead of Maizeland to Circle. So I was on Murray going 30...the speed limit* is 35. I figured that with the adverse weather conditions, this was a perfectly acceptable speed. Apparently the guy coming up behind me, though, thought otherwise.

He came screaming up on my tail and sat there practically on my bumper. Normally this makes me do one of two things: a) slow down even more or b) slam hard on my brakes to scare him away. But with the snow I didn't want to play so I stayed where I was. We went through a lit intersection and I caught a glimpse of the tailgater - it was a COP! A policeman who is supposed to uphold the law and be a model for us civilians was crawling up my butt while it was snowing and making the roads slick. That just made me even madder. You'd think of all the people out there driving that a cop would know that that's just NOT ACCEPTABLE! He stayed there until it divided into 2 lanes and he finally got over. He wouldn't look at me, though. I just wanted to tell him that he had no business being that close to me, that's all. Really!

* = the other day I was picking up Collin's son from school and Jordyn was in the back seat. We passed a Speed Limit sign and she piped up, "That sign said that you have to go 25...speed...things." Thanks, Jordyn!

Labels: Jordyn, weather

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I hope everyone had a nice weekend. My 5-day weekend went very fast. I think it went faster than my normal 4-day weekends.

I thought I'd spice up your Monday with a couple of kid anecdotes. Here we go...

#1: Thursday I went shopping and to lunch with my friend Shanon & her 4 year old daughter Elena. She was doing something at the table while we were eating that wasn't making Shanon too happy and she said, "This just isn't working out." Elena replied, "Are you breaking up with me?"

#2: Collin & I were on the way home after picking up his kids from their Grandma's house last night (we went to the Bronco game...GO BRONCOS!!!) and I mentioned to Jordyn that I heard her favorite song, Keith Urban's "You'll Think Of Me" on the radio on the way up to Denver.

Jordyn: "Awww, I missed my song! Daddy, have you heard that song?"

Collin: "Yes."

Jordyn: "What did you think of it?"

Collin: "It's...a song."

Jordyn: "Do you like it?"

Collin: "I suppose."

Jordyn: "Isn't it just sooooo sad?"

Collin: "Sure."

Jordyn: "No, it really is. It's sadder than the darnit's!"

All in car: "The 'darnit's'?"

Jordyn: "Yeah, you know...when you say, 'Darn, it's sad."

I love kids!

Labels: amalgams, Elena, Jordyn

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